Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
