Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
