I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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