I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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