you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
