i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Do vagina's smell?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
