is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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