Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
