3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
My Sexting was not on an AP level
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
