Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
