I won't be sarcastic... just naked
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
