Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
