Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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