honey bunches of taint.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
