So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
