He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
