i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
