I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
