do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
