hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
