What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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