this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
