Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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