I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
