Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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