Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
