Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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