so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
