we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
