yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
