It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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