Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
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