I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
