I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
