how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Randomize
