would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
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