I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
this boner is exhausting
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize