just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
