I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
