I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
