why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
how drunk are you?
Several
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
