Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
