id be glad to
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
