He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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