Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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