I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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