i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
cat food counts as protein by the way
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
