My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
