We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just made out with a guy for $7.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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