i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
