Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
