sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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