dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
