SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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