I wanna bring you to show and tell
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
